POEM: Shaken, but Not Stirred!
Trying my hands on a poem for the first time…Nothing personal in this. Wasn't sure how readers will take it. Did a beta release yesterday at Mouthshut and feedback was positive. So with that courage releasing this to my blog readers.
Read and tell me if this looks hopeless/average/bad/acceptable… whatever…
---Poem Start---
---Shaken, but not Stirred---
I should have kept my cool
But now I feel like a fool
I’ll be in town this weekend-said he
When and where are we meeting? Questioned an eager me
Will call you once I land-said he
I’ll be eagerly waiting-said me
The person didn’t even had plans of calling me
Should I plan for an outing?-asked the stupid me
Not sure about outing-said he
Not sure means "Sure-Not"-someone should’ve told me!
He’s back in his town
I feel like thrown deep down
He’s living his life Bindaas
Why should I feel like Devdaas?
Seems to be in no regrets not meeting me
Should have known where I stand-crazy me!
Have to apply market correction
And consolidate my position
For him I am not even worth a call
Should I keep bothering him then?-not at all
What do I do now? Ask for an explanation?
Not interested in excuses and narration.
Was there a misunderstanding?-I don’t know
If he is willing to explain-I‘d like to know
He needs to express some interest in this friendship
Because I don't run one sided relationship
Till then I prefer to retreat
And in this friendship-stay discrete
I should have kept my cool
But now I feel like a fool
---End of poem---
You can now Start laughing/clapping/commenting...And thanks a lot for reading my poem...Can you suggest a title? I think if I replace He with She it would have been more spicy-Still I prefer to keep it simple this way.
Update: Thanks for the wonderful feedback. I've added 6 more lines (in brown)...I've opted to keep "Shaken but not Stirred" as the title as of now. Thanks to everyone who have suggested various titles.
Similar posts: Summer of 05 * My favourite lyrics lines * Bhagyada Balegala Kannada song-lyrics and translation * Krishna nee begane baaro * Rejection handling in daily life
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