Q: How is Spock like a fortune cookie?

A: His major lines are vastly improved when you add the suffix "in bed". For example, in last year's Star Trek movie:

• (To Uhura): "I need everyone to continue performing admirably. In bed."



• (To himself): "Do yourself a favor: put aside logic, and do what feels right. In bed."



• (To himself): "As my customary farewell would seem oddly self-serving, I will simply say: Good luck. In bed."



• (To Kirk): "I will not allow you to lecture me about the merits of emotion. In bed."



• Kirk: "You know, traveling through time, changing history... that's cheating."
  
  Spock: "A trick I learned from an old friend. In bed."



• Spock: "Furthermore, you have failed to understand the purpose of the test."
  
  Kirk: "Enlighten me again."
  
  Spock: "The purpose is to experience fear, fear in the face of certain death, to accept that fear, and maintain control of oneself and one's crew. This is a quality expected in every Starfleet captain. In bed."



• Bones: "You know, back home we have a saying: 'If you wanna ride in the Kentucky Derby, you don't leave your prized stallion in the stable.'"
  
  Spock: "A curious metaphor, doctor, as a stallion must first be broken before it can reach its potential. In bed."

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